Written by Danya Candis Lorimer; Missouri
Years ago, I was in a bad relationship. One that was physically and mentally abusive and I didn’t think that I would get out of it alive.
Ronnie came into my life in the middle of my divorce and he seemed to be a savior at that time. He made me feel good and the divorce didn’t seem so devastating. He was emotionally there for me and cheered me on when things got rough. It wasn’t long before I started what I thought was a serious relationship with this man.
As time went by, I noticed that Ronnie seemed a bit jealous anytime that I spoke to another man. It progressively became worse. It came to the point that I was not allowed to look at another man. If I was sitting at a table he would make sure to sit between me and any other men who were present. He was constantly letting me know that men only wanted one thing from me, and that he didn’t like it. When we were home after any incident with another man, he would beat me in the head because no one could see the bruises under my hair.
We lived in Mississippi, about four hours from my parents, who were in Memphis, Tennessee. I went to see them as much as my finances would allow it. But, Ronnie started making excuses for me not to go. Some of his excuses were that I might miss a call from a potential employer or the car might have problems. Anything he could come up with to keep me secluded and to himself.
I tried to leave him permanently several times. However, he kept threatening me and my family and it scared me to no end so I always went back.
Ronnie was insecure with himself and an abuser of drugs, and partial to crack cocaine. The drugs made him paranoid and he would pace the house looking out the windows constantly. When he was without drugs and he didn’t have money to buy them he would try to borrow money from friends or would use the money that we had for rent or my car payment. He would promise that he would pay it back, although he never did. At times, he would have me drive him out to a crack house to buy what he needed.
If he didn’t get the money that he needed for drugs, I knew that I was going to get beat. It happened every time.
One night, he didn’t get the money and he was very, very, angry, the most angry that I had ever seen him. He beat me so badly that I knew I was going to die that night.
At one point, he had me smashed to the bed with his left hand on my throat choking me, and with his right hand he was pounding me in the head. I am not sure how long that went on but it seemed like forever. I finally got my wits about me and knew I didn’t want to die and I said in my head, “Please God, help me.”
As soon as I said those words, “Please God, help me,” I felt a pause in the hitting and I opened my eyes to see Ronnie’s face about six inches from my own and his right hand frozen in mid strike. I looked into his eyes and I saw what I can only describe as a glaze of pure evil, and then suddenly, his eyes were clear. That glaze was pure evil, and then seeing his eyes in the next moment, clear, was the most amazing thing that I had ever seen. Ronnie let me go right away and sat on the bed crying and saying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” over and over again.
I have believed in God since I was a little girl. But that was the first time that I ever felt God’s presence so powerful and with miracles. I can’t say that I’ve always followed my faith throughout my life, and sometimes I questioned if God was real. This incident left no doubts in my mind that God is real! I never allow abuses from anyone anymore. And I am still in awe about this experience until this day, because it can’t be explained away.
My favorite Bible verse, God’s phone number…
Jeremiah 33:3 Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.
