Part 1 Holy love
In early 2017, the Holy Spirit was immersed within my spirit and ongoing giving me a message in which I could perpetually sense, “Read my Word day and night.” I needed God’s Word day and night, even more than I knew it.
The series of events that led up to that point had made my situation dire. For two years, I had been wrestling directly with God, going head to head with God, to stave Him off from teaching a life lesson to a woman in who I cared about. I also was in a brawl with the devil over a multitude of issues including trying to protect the same woman from attacks in which she was receiving almost daily…and for most of the years of her life long before we had met.
Fighting God…and fighting the devil at the same time…is quite challenging. Fighting God encompasses so many sins and levels of wrongness that is might be difficult to arrive at an accurate total. I was long ago worn out and tired from these battles.
The lesson that God wanted to teach this woman was going to be difficult, to say the least. God knew that she needed to learn this lesson for her own good. If she learned the lesson, it would help her personally and help her to help God and others in her ministry work. I knew all of this. But I was hoping that the woman would wake up to the particular thing that she was doing wrong, repent, and change her ways, not needing the lesson. I was counseling, praying, trying, and hoping for a long time to have this happen, and things were not working out that way.
I knew this woman’s life story. She had experienced more abuses than all of the people who I knew of combined. As far back as she had been cognitive enough at a young age to be able to recall of such in her adult years, since the age of 3 and on, she had experienced abuses. This included childhood atrocities of almost every nature inflicted against her deliberately by a number of people.
Some of the abuses throughout her life included her never experiencing the feeling of someone loving her more than they loved themselves in certain regards. This included her never having the feeling of someone showing enough of an interest in helping her become relieved of the residual emotional and mental scarring from the childhood abuses. She also had been denigrated as a way of life so well that she was used to being without anyone sincerely inquiring as to an interest in her dreams and aspirations in life, let alone someone actually committing to helping her. She had experienced horrific assaults including violence against her at the ages of 19 and 46, but had been so denigrated by others that she did not feel that she counted enough to report these issues.
I had learned that an abuse within itself can simply be not having anyone truly caring about other abuses enough to show a loving compelling interest, including to personally council. The absence of care in this regard can yield an ongoing feeling of a life of various pain.
The Lord brought her and me together for a number of purposes on Valentine’s Day in 2011. We immediately had an incredible connection within the Spirit of God. Things were happening spiritually to her and me as we both had never experienced. The Holy Spirit would come upon us in spectacular manifestations on one day, and the next day, the spirits of the devil would make surprise attacks in protest of our goals to serve Jesus; in which we prayed our way out of.
Many times, this sequence would happen within the same day. In between all of this, we flat out had fun and joked, having a wonderful time as a woman and a man. We were in-love, and talking on the phone in the evening until fatigue or until our jaws hurt at times.
Living 400 miles apart, every morning and every evening, we were on the phone for hours for over a year. Having never met for over the first month, we also prayed for each other, cried and laughed, and counseled each other due to a series of troubles we had both been going through, including health issues and spousal betrayals.
She was in a bad way. Living in the middle of nowhere after experiencing recent abandonment, she was legally deaf, had a permanent broken left foot, and chronic pain and fatigue from fibromyalgia. She had the devil on her at times from the recent events and the devil still pounding on her from the childhood abuses due to never having the residual effects treated or addressed.
For the first 33 days we talked only on the phone. And then, she took off fast, driving north 200 miles, and I took off fast, driving south 200 miles ~ both excited to meet in a rendezvous for the first time to see if in fact that we were truly in-love. We had many nicknames by then, and she was Country Girl and I was City Boy. When we met, sure enough, Country Girl and City Boy were beaming in-love. I had found her charming and beautiful, and was thrilled to meet her.
~ Fast forward to early 2017; is when the Lord was soon going to tell me to read His Word day and night. To state that things did not go as expected in our relationship was a vast understatement. We had always gotten along well. However, Country Girl and I had outside interference mostly every day. This was from the devil working through one of her family members, consumed with making concerted efforts to purposefully destroy our marriage plans, our relationship in general, our health, joy, ministry, finance, and even our existence.
Over time, no one could help the woman in who I cared about, as she was beaten down by the outside source, and went along with it for varying reasons. The family member was also without any idea that they were being used as an instrument of the devil to destroy the woman in who I loved.
God had been relentlessly trying to help the woman in who I loved with a multitude of human messengers, plus the Holy Spirit yielding messages. However, she thought that she would be going against the family member if she stood up to them, and was tricked by the enemy into this outlook.
The devil is beyond slick. This situation was not an aberration. It is widespread across the globe to varying degrees, but usually more subtle and hidden. Satan commonly uses one family member who he knows he can use to destroy many, by manipulating the love that their family has for that person. Satan also uses this strategy elsewhere including at jobs and in churches, coming through the least amount of people to destroy the most amount of people.
God had truly made extraordinary efforts so that the woman in who I cared about would not have to learn the particular lesson in which it seemed that she was going to have to live through. I guessed that she would probably lose everything, including many of the beautiful blessings that God had given her. This pained me, and I knew that it pained God even greater, as God is love, and God created her.
I had never witnessed such an apparent spiritual warfare with spirits of the devil attacking someone as they were to her, and now to me while being with her. At stated, this would happen during one moment, and then the Holy Spirit of God, Angels, and Jesus came to her and consumed her with immensity of love beyond description. On one occasion, Jesus came upon her where she was overcome with euphoria of Holy love beyond any comprehension and simply slipped onto the floor overcome in joy.
The woman in who I loved has immensity of absolute faith and a love for the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. A gift that she has is that when she prays, things happen, and God answers her prayers in multitude. This is probably why she was under such an attack for her entire life. She loves Jesus dearly, and believed in Jesus since a young age. She was simply being tricked by the devil in one aspect of her life, and the consequences were drastic.
In 2010, God had helped her to get through her own personal Red Sea when she had been abandoned and felt death and no strength left. She was, right then, in 2017, living some of the theme of Psalm 106, but unknowingly so, in placing the family member as a false idol. This is why God wanted to teach her the lesson so that she would stop doing so.
A message from the Lord revealed that the family member was under a generational curse. Anytime that the woman in who I cared about and I experienced any type of success, happiness, joy, fun, liberty, gains, etc., she told it to the family member. Within that same moment or by the next morning, the devil would try to ruin things through the family member. This had happened on a regular basis.
I was without any background of this type of spiritual warfare in the beginning of the situation, and didn’t have a complete understanding as to exactly what in the world was going on, let alone what to do about it. I would just watch the woman in who I cared for, suffer as I had never witnessed suffering could be from the abuses.
The devil and the family member’s fuel was envy as I had never known. I had originally thought it was many evil spirits, but later found out that this was from just one spirit. The spirit could be prayed away in an instant through Jesus Christ, but it was being held onto, unknowingly, by the family member.
From these abuses mostly coming through phone calls and at times in visits, the woman in who I loved developed nervous breakdowns, loss of enjoyment of life, trauma, five symptoms of heart failure, a thyroid irregularity from stress, a significant weight gain from stress, and more. She told me that she had witnessed this happening through the family member in years prior, but never this badly. The devil was on overload to stop our love and our mission for Jesus.
Country Girl and I were in-love, actively serving and following Jesus in a full-time effort to serve our Lord and Savior…and the devil was, in fact, beside himself with envy. The devil’s envy was jumping on board through the particular envy of the family member as a spiritual opening and enhancing it. Again, the family member had no idea that this was going on and that they were being used to destroy all parties involved, including themselves and their own peace.
Unsuccessful in my attempts, I tried every way to stop the abuse of the devil using the family member as an instrument. I was ineffective even after talking with the family member on a number of occasions, talking to other family members, hiring a lawyer, and one time nuking the cell phone of the woman in who I loved for 3 seconds…in a microwave oven.
I was desperate and not even sure as to what that would do; nuking a cell phone. But, this actually worked and we had peace and joy until the woman in who I loved purchased another phone. The woman in who I loved, and me, had great peace, laughter, and fun for those days. Country Girl knows nothing of about nuking her phone, until she reads this one day. I can imagine that she might be mad, or maybe laugh now, but I’m not sure of which.
I ‘was’ desperate, never in such a situation, didn’t know exactly what to do, perpetually watching the woman in who I cared about taking the abusive calls, or she would listen to the abuses on her answer machine, and be thoroughly emotionally pounded. She thought it was someone in who she loved stating such words, without understanding that Satan was behind the attention-seeking methods. In a chain reaction; it was Satan using one evil spirit to manipulate one family member into a powerful seduction.
In between all of this, we served the Lord, tried to bring as many people to Jesus as possible, went out to dinner, the movies, ate a lot of ice cream, went to church, watched TV, took trips into cities such as Manhattan, cruised the countryside listening to music, played board and other games, went horseback riding, took some other trips, went to the beach, and we were elated in-love and having the time of our lives…except in the fact that the devil was trying to murder us almost every day. If it wasn’t for that little part about the devil, we might have been on Hallmark.
Most of the time, I watched the woman in who I loved, be full of joy, happiness, love, kindness, gentleness, and care. Then, she would receive a phone call of abusive words to push her buttons to get a rise out of her to receive attention and gain power.
The devil and his spirits cannot bear not to be the constant center of attention. These calls were mostly all about attention, dominion, destruction, and control. The pain inflicted upon the woman in who I cared for, if, at a given moment that she wasn’t giving primary attention to that family member; was so great that she would then lash her pain out on me.
I didn’t care that she was lashing out on me in the regard to feel that it was a personal attack. I felt pity for her to be receiving such pain, including in consideration of the abuses from her past. This pained me to no end. If Country Girl didn’t take the calls, her message machine became loaded with even worse abuses, and she got slammed in other ways by Satan through the family member including restrictions on being able to see her grandchild.
God tried every way to stop the woman in who I was with from taking the calls; methodically seduced and tricked by the devil into placing the family member as a false idol. Not fully realizing what all was going on, I have to admit that there were times that I despised the family member. But unbelievably, God eventually taught me as to how and why I should apply the understanding of the wisdom to love that family member. It was just a matter of having the understanding of the wisdom of what God’s love actually is in its actions in this type of situation. Love has boundaries. Love without boundaries, is not love, and an immediate opening for the enemy.
I learned that God’s love, in fact, includes placing boundaries and holding people to the truth of their words and actions when guided to do so by the Holy Spirit. Truth will truly set someone free…which in this case is the truth of someone’s actions presented in reflection to the truth of the Word of God—which is Jesus, one and the same.
However, I was short on this wisdom in the spirit at the time.
Ephesians 6:13-17 Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; and your feet shod with the preparation of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
Over time, the Lord taught me to rely on prayer for God to deal directly with this issue and other situations, and also prayer to allow the Spirit of God to lead and for children of God to facilitate, in specific ways, by the will of God. I learned a lot of this the hard way; to pray always at all times on all things.
Ephesians 6:18 Praying always in prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; (believers)
Romans 8:14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons (children) of God.
The evil spirit who had dominion over the woman’s family member was fierce in its words of seduction, and a master manipulator. I was learning spiritual warfare quickly. Again this evil spirit would have to flee in one instant from one prayer to Jesus, and be gone. However, the family member and the woman in who I loved were unknowingly enabling and empowering it. It seemed that the woman in who I cared for was going to have to learn the life lesson; and that lesson was only to look up and follow only God. And the Lord let me know at a later time, that I, as well, was not sin free in the way that I was trying to help Country Girl. Summed up, I should have been more aggressive to place boundaries to the abuses, and I had a part by allowing fear and trepidation to facilitate the overall situation as a false god as well.
Exodus 20:3 Thou shall have no other gods before me.
Many things were happening, and one of those things was that I was in God’s school for spiritual warfare which was going to help for a qualification in future correlating ministry work.
The Lord allowed me to conclude that her family member had been seduced with what I could detect were traits of the Jezebel and the Leviathan spirit. Country Girl, and her family member, desperately needed to be rescued.
I had never witnessed God having His hand in someone’s life so obviously and showing someone so much very apparent love as in the woman in who I cared for. But people have free will for a reason. My heart cried for the woman in who I cared for, watching her suffer; her thinking that she was defending the family member at times, taught to do so since an early age.
And right then in early 2017, after God was trying for years to get the woman in who I loved to stop enabling Satan and the family member, God was about to teach her the perfect lesson to help her. However, within this lesson, I would have to stop being near her, in general, for a season. I didn’t want to be away from Country Girl for a season. I realized that she also might have to take huge losses in some regards, and I felt that she would be a sitting duck from the devil and her family member if I left. I had to trust God.
The Holy Spirit wanted me to leave, and get away. I had to load my beaten-up, old Chevy Blazer, go away, and I could not bear to do so for two years. Hence, after wrestling with God for that time period, I lost. God is very strong, and I’m not.
~And right then; I was hundreds of miles away from home and Country Girl, in who I cared for so well. The woman had been so beaten down to nothing, from at that point, multitudes of calls, and some personal visits, she knew that if she did not get rid of me that Satan and her family member’s envy would keep pounding on her to do so. There was nothing left to her.
After years of this, she was mentally, physically, and emotionally; utterly spent. Therefore, out of desperation, she attacked me in a fierce way with words in which was personal and devastating to me.
Many miles from home, I felt something along the lines as maybe Elijah felt when fleeing. This was not in regard to the woman in who I cared for, but of Satan and the abuse in which he had brought upon me through her family member.
I had a ‘hit’ out on my life from the devil all along and hadn’t fully reasoned that through, until this point. I almost died repeatedly through health issues from stress. The woman and I were sent by Jesus to help each other back in 2011, in many ways, and to serve Jesus in bringing others to the Lord. God also gave us love. However, there was no way that we could have guessed that we would, in the future, be in the middle of these absurdities in life and hundreds of miles apart from each other.
The envious spirit of the enemy also took great exception in that I was trying to free the woman in who the Lord brought me to, through Jesus, to break the generational curse. I could have never guessed of such a thing as a generational curse when I first met the woman. The woman in who I loved was nothing but a wonderfully beautiful delight to be around. She was pleasant and kindhearted, and ‘game on,’ to serve Jesus. The devil took great exception.
On Valentine’s Day, on our anniversary of first meeting each other, I was alone and in a Durham hospital from unusual side effects of a recent heart ablation procedure. There was nothing left to me, my body was severely atrophied, and I was near death from heart strain.
A couple of days later, my spirit sensed the Spirit of God giving me a perpetual pull to immediately drive to the very northern part of Florida and deliver two messages to a woman who was severely ill. This was another reason in which I ended up hundreds of miles away from Country Girl, the woman in who I loved. I was to deliver these two messages, with the woman in the last part of the stages of cancer.
This was an old friend of mine’s, sister, who was ill. In between all of the mayhem in the past with the woman in who I cared for, her and I had a synergy effect upon us from the Holy Spirit in doing work for the Lord. We were well known in varying areas as being ‘game on’ to bring as many people as possible to Jesus, and as prayer warriors. Our ministry was broken up now, and I felt a heaviness right then as Country Girl and City Boy were apart, and I was on my own.
A part of me held hope that God would take me back to her and somehow change things and we could live a normal life, get married, and live happily ever after as a man and wife, and serve the Lord. I held to a message that the Holy Spirit had given me awhile back ~ that upcoming in May, the ministry work would take off from back in that area where Country Girl was at. I held to this for hope. I had to get back to Country Girl, but in the Lord’s timing.
I knew Country Girl, and how dear that she was. I talked with her for over a year before we began to do ministry together. I saw her for 60 days during our relationship without the outside interference. During this period, she was pleasant, as pleasant as anyone in who I had ever met. She was laid back southern as laid back southern as there could be. She was sweet, endearing, and caring. She loved our Father, she loved Jesus, she loved the Holy Spirit, and her faith made me love her that much more. I was a fairly new Christian in the grand scheme of things. Before giving my life to Jesus, I never thought that I would love a woman in part because or her faith and love for the Lord. But I did.
Many hundreds of miles away, I held to that message that the Holy Spirit had given to me that was going to happen upcoming in May, and this is most of what I held to for hope. It was only February right then. I felt a bad feeling deep inside of me; not being able to see Country Girl for that long. I knew, in the least, I was only in the very beginning stages of what could be a long journey in whatever God had in store for me, and a long journey if I was, in fact, to get back to her, and resume the ministry service with her. I wanted months to pass by fast.
I had arrived in Florida, and met up with the friend who had the sister that was sick, and she was at a hospital, with her sister being the woman in who the Lord wanted me to deliver the two messages to. We went to the hospital room and walked into her room. I was not expecting or prepared for her ill appearance. I immediately gathered myself within a split moment, and delivered the first message.
At the foot of her bed, I looked at her right in the eyes and told her, “The Holy Spirit told me to drive from North Carolina to give you a message. Jesus wants me to give you this message so that you know and feel assured… ‘Jesus loves you!’”
She was jolted at first, there was a long moment of silence, and she kept her eyes right at mine and sincerely thanked me. I was relieved and thankful to God to have gotten that done. The next message was going to be harder, as it was actually a salvation prayer that I had to figure out how to conduct.
I prayed in my thoughts for an hour as my friend and her sister talked. Then, there was an opening and we all held hands and prayed a salvation prayer. My friend’s sister had been holding animosity and needed to rededicate her life and let go of bitterness before she passed away from cancer. Her sister held tight to my hand long after the prayer, a tightness that defied her weak physical condition. But I was done with the messages, and relieved to have delivered them.
I left with my friend, she knew that I just had a break up and a heart procedure that went awry, and offered that I could take a spare bedroom at her home for as long as I wanted. I had to thank God, not only for the housing, but for sunny Florida. It was winter, I was ill, and needed as much sun as I could get.
So there I was, right then, receiving the perpetual message from the Holy Spirit of God, ‘to read His word day and night.’
I stayed in my room and read the Word as a priority, day and night. In between actually physically reading the Word day and night, I was in meditation, in thought, of the Word throughout the day and night. These two parts together, mostly yielded some of the definition of; reading the Word day and night.
For almost one week, I read the Word as never before, day and night. The Holy Spirit of God kept a perpetual message within my spirit to do so.
I then received an e-mail from an anointed pastor, Pastor Sam, from Pakistan, who was living with his family in Bangkok, after being beaten and on the run from the Taliban; having a hit out to murder him and his family. My friend Richard and I were actively trying to get him and his family to another country to start a new life. The Thailand authorities would arrest Pastor Sam and his family if they inquired about his identification papers. He and his family would then be sent back to Pakistan; and to a subsequent death sentence by the Taliban, as their legal paperwork had expired to be in Thailand.
Pastor Sam e-mailed me, telling me that he received three messages from the Holy Spirit to give to me. They were three Bible verses. The third Bible verse was…
Psalm 1:2 But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law does he meditate day and night.
This was confirmation to the Holy Spirit giving me the same message earlier, and this message gave me strength, resolve, knowledge, and the assurance that I was, in fact, supposed to read God’s Word day and night. I had been mostly disciplined over the last few years pertaining to doing God’s will. This was with the exception of fighting God for two years, trying not to allow the woman in who I cared for to have to learn the life lesson in which God wanted to teach her.
Most of the time, I would adhere to the Holy Spirit and His messages. But there were other times in which I was disobedient and paid the price with a much harder life.
However, this time I did not even flinch about being obedient. The perpetual message was love from God to me, to read His Word day and night. And I was done trying to stop the life lesson to the woman in who I cared for, and more mature as a Christian to do the will of God and appreciate God. I had to have faith.
After the following week, my friend’s sister passed away. Suddenly, the Holy Spirit of God gave me a message that I should be prepared to leave my friend’s home on a moment’s notice. When I was looking at a shirt I had hanging on a hook, the Holy Spirit let me know to take that shirt to the Chevy, in symbolism within the Spirit; that I would soon be leaving with all of my things. This overall specific, was absolute and clear, within the Spirit of God. I had previously resigned to staying there for awhile to recover. I couldn’t imagine what would happen in which I was going to have to quickly leave. But I trusted the Lord.
The next week, my friend’s family members came by because of the funeral. They were drinking hard liquor by the bottle and were heavily intoxicated on most days. I stayed in the room and tried to focus on reading the Word day and night through screaming and hollering and what appeared to be the verge of violence that could happen at any moment, outside of my bedroom door. Over the next days, at one point, I was in the main living area, and a man was swinging his arms around in a jerky manner. Things were escalating, and activities were taking place that were not good. I had no choice but to leave. I walked into my room and grabbed my belongings and quickly left.
Driving off, I ended up on Daytona Beach that day with the rickety Chevy Blazer with high mileage, shocked at the sudden turn of events. I was weak from heart issues, atrophied, having little strength, still also in shock in what happened with the woman in who I loved and cared about for so long, also, as to the particulars in which I suddenly left.
With the Chevy on Daytona Beach, I wasn’t certain for what to do. I kept holding to the manifestation of the Holy Spirit in which was so powerful in telling me that the ministry work would take off in May, back where I was at before with Country Girl, who I cared about and loved. I could only hold to hope for Country Girl and City Boy to be reunited. I felt compelled and driven to make it back to Country Girl.
The Holy Spirit had also given a message to me through a hospital staff member back in Durham before I came to Florida. The staff member told me how Country Girl would be contacting me as she was going to need help. The message was not encouragement based, but just factual and absolute that this would happen, with the Lord working through him.
However, I knew very well that some prophesies were not absolute providence. God’s children could, in fact, destroy their own path in the regard if it was not providence from God. If God said that something was going to happen and it was providence, it would happen. But in messages that were not providence, the free will of God’s children can and have altered many situations through their own disobedience and by other means. Throughout the Bible and reflective to modern times, God’s children have destroyed blessings in which God was trying to give to His children more times than could be counted. I didn’t want this to happen and didn’t know if the message was providence or not.
The next day, after driving north, I took in a church service at a beautiful cathedral in St. Augustine, and then went for a walk. Thereafter, I really could not lie down in the back of the Chevy comfortably, as it was a small area and I had belongings cramped into it. Therefore, I was sitting up, exhausted, cramped, in the driver’s seat, and could not even go for a walk anymore due to my heart issue. It truly felt as if I was trapped in a coffin, unable to move. Tears came down my face. I mostly didn’t feel like a human anymore in the regards of having even the liberty but just to sit there, cramped, and was without options to do otherwise.
Later, heading north, it felt good to be heading north, even though it was only a little north. I stayed for two nights in St. Mary’s, Georgia. I had seen St. Mary’s on a map earlier, and thought of going there, and the next thing, I was there. For two days, I read the Word day and night. Then, a Spiritual messenger from the Lord whispered to me, “Augusta.”
I had seldom heard a message that was out loud, from the Lord. This was a unique experience, and I trusted the Lord when I had heard, “Augusta.” As soon as I took a few steps into the room in Augusta, Georgia, my spirit felt an immediate jolt of a message from the Holy Spirit in that I would be there for exactly one week.
Most of the time, I thought about the woman in who I cared about, either very subconsciously or more so to the surface of my emotions. I felt terrible, as I didn’t have the wisdom before, the Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God, in knowing how I could have stopped those instances from the devil. I kept thinking that if I would have given myself and my path in life to Jesus back when I first heard about Jesus as a teenager, I would have had the wisdom in the spirit by then to have protected and truly rescue the woman in who I loved.
In Augusta, I soon recognized, I must have been very weak for the last months and didn’t know how weak, including from varying heart procedures. I was gaining some strength, and I could barely do much more than have to push hard, to get out of bed on some days. But I kept reading the Word day and night. I kept a log of the books in which I was reading, and the dates, and did not start out in Genesis, but started out at Psalm and was all over the place, accordingly mostly to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. At times though, I picked certain books myself. Part of me felt that maybe after I read the Word day and night, that I would be brought back to that region where Country Girl was, and help her, be with her, and we could bring people to Jesus again.
Recalling how Country Girl and I had first met, right after both of us experienced spousal betrayals and were in the midst of health issues, we made vows never to allow each other to have the feeling again in life of a relationship betrayal. We made vows that we would always be there for each other, especially in times of needing help.
I recalled how she asked me on a number of occasions in the midst of the chaotic troubles we had endured, “please don’t ever give up on me James.” One time, she had been so beaten down that there was nothing left to her, and she pitifully said to me, “please don’t leave me to the wolves.”
I held to those times, and was driven; and I had to get back to her.
I thought that maybe something would happen if and when I got back to Country Girl and everything would change and we would have elation of love and live happily ever after and serve the Lord bringing people to Jesus. We were good at that.
I am not a perfect man, but I am sincere, and I told her my word that I would never give up on her, and I wasn’t ever going to give up on her. I held to that vow. Somehow, in the least, I had to help her if and when God said that the time was right. I had to be prepared if that time came. But I was done wrestling with God. God made it so, I had sincerely repented, and I resigned to be obedient.
Lying in bed in Augusta, and missing Country Girl, I was beyond sad at times thinking of the good things that we had experienced. She was beautiful, witty, funny, endearing, and charming. I was so worried about her, and had to trust God like never before. I felt that I had let her down, as I was not as mature of a Christian as needed.
I had to help the family member as well, through prayer, and the Holy Spirit gave me more wisdom in how to do this. I kept thinking about another particular piece of wisdom; that if an unsaved person, hears about Jesus: their decision, whether or not to repent and accept Jesus as their Savior, can not only affect them in their future, but also all those in who someone influences for the rest of their lives. I realized even more, that any day wasted, is a day of progression lost, to gain more and more wisdom. And when I had waited years, to initially give my life to Jesus, it was clearly making me short on wisdom to have fully helped Country Girl during the entire time since I met her.
Sitting in Augusta, my arms and legs were too weak from the heart condition to be able to exercise and gain strength. I couldn’t imagine where I would be going to in one week. However, our Father in Heaven; was apparently taking care of me every step of the way in all regards needed. God’s hand was obvious in being with me, even though I had been disobedient to Him so well. Praise God. God is amazing.
In prayer and by reading the Word, the Lord kept teaching me more wisdom in the spirit to be able to defeat more evil and to grow in the wisdom to love as God loves. I wrote and kept many notes, a long list of the wisdom in which I was learning from reading the Word day and night. I realized through reading the Word day and night that we are all in a two-fold purification process; to shed as much evil of ourselves as we can, and learn to love as God loves.
Scripture reveals: our entire reason and purpose of existence is love: to be loved by God, to love God, and to love each other as God loves, eternally. Ephesians 4:12-16, Mark 12:30-31, John 15:12, Proverbs 4:7, Titus 1:2. KJV
I had learned that God offers His children to love as He loves voluntarily, or we can learn the harder way, involuntarily, if we don’t want to be accountable to our words and actions and grow in His purification process of love.
The Word was quickly teaching me the understanding of the wisdom to truly love the family member of Country Girl, but I could only realize this state of mind part of the time. God told me that this wisdom from Him was essential to learn. I pleaded, in prayers, for Jesus to free Country Girl and her family member from the generational curse. The Lord yearned to free them both, but they had to recognize that they were, albeit unknowingly, being tricked by the enemy into having a false god through a seducing spirit.
The way in which God was guiding me to grow in the understanding of the wisdom to love Country Girl’s family member, someone who had caused us both so much hurt, was simply not to forget the truth of who I was, and where I came from. Truth included: none of us even existed, without the love of God. The understanding of that wisdom also included to steadfast always embrace the truth of who someone is with and without Jesus Christ, in reflection to who is Jesus Christ and His Word. Jesus loves His children regardless of all of us sinning past any comprehension. This truth could yield exceeding humility ~ of being vast sinners, undeserving of anything, but Jesus rescuing us anyway; so who was anyone to point fingers. The mercy in which God shows, is not calculable, and God’s children can look at it as a great opportunity for richness within the spirit, to give the same mercy received. God is love, and God’s love is not contingent, but God’s love places boundaries.
God loved me and forgave me of my sins in spite of myself, simply with His exceeding mercy and grace. Studying, and having greater realizations to this, gave me greater richness in humility. It also made it that much easier to forgive and pray with love for the family member in who had caused Country Girl and me such problems.
I knew of Jesus and the Holy Spirit. They had both come to me in a way that I don’t even like to mention, as the world is without the words to describe of such. I was utterly undeserving. I am, in fact, a great sinner, even having cursed the Lord out in a terrible way on a number of occasions, and the Lord still came upon me in manifestations of beauty and love beyond any type of understanding. Therefore, to know of what I knew about the Lord and His spectacular presence, being so undeserving, I prayed with pity for the family member of Country Girl, to also have such experiences for themselves.
Sure enough, six days into staying in Augusta and reading the Word day and night, I got a phone call offering housing in a nice apartment back in Durham. This was set up by the same hospital staff member who had prophesized that Country Girl would contact me needing help. Durham was that much closer to Country Girl, but I knew if I was going to see Country Girl again, it would still take much more time.
Praise God. I took off for Durham, and at an exit that would have taken me to the road to Country Girl, I knew that I could not take that turn, and it was not a good feeling.
I kept reviewing that one message in which the Holy Spirit of God had given me…in the region of Country Girl. I had actually seen a powerful manifestation of the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit pouring into a section of an adjoining room in which I was looking at. The Holy Spirit gave me a message that the ministry work would take off again from right there in that town, in this upcoming May. I held to this message. But I also kept wondering at times, if, in fact I had done something to alter that course. If it was providence or I was obedient, I would be okay.
I got the apartment in Durham. It was a month to month lease, costing little money. The short-term lease made me happy, as maybe this meant that God would take me back to the region where Country Girl was at, and we could live happily ever after as man and woman and be ‘game on’ in bringing people to Jesus.
I read the Word day and night like never before. It felt good that I had a steady place in which to do so. I still kept the log of dates and books in which I was reading, took some breaks, and I also began to physically exercise a bit.
At night, I was very lonely and felt alone. I only have a few family members, they are not in that region, and they mostly keep to themselves over the years…with the exception of my mother in who I was in steady contact with. I mostly did not tell my mother what was transpiring. She is elderly, and I did not want to worry her.
On some nights, lying alone in the quiet, I cried at the situation, mostly missing Country Girl. I was worried about her. We had contact on a couple of occasions over the past month or so and things did not go well. She was mostly my only family member as an adult. I really had no one else in that regard. We had so much, and it was destroyed in some ways because I was short of wisdom in the spirit because I had rejected Jesus earlier in my life. I had to be accountable to the truth of any of my sins, errors, and shortcomings.
I was reading the Word day and night because I love God. However, part of me was reading more diligently in hopes that God wanted me to read the Word day and night and then go back to the woman. I realize that there is much wrongness in this, but it feels good to face truth, even if the truth is a flaw in which I have. Reviewing, at times, the log of the books in which I had already read from the Bible, I added the chapters remaining, and by this and by other means, I tried to calculate when I would be done reading the Bible. I wasn’t going to go any faster, though, than to be able to comprehend the Word in a certain level greater than in how I knew of it already.
Two months had passed. I can attest that reading the Word day and night has so many extra blessings than just growing in the understanding of learning the wisdom to love with the knowledge.
I was primarily reading for accountability, in that, if I was guilty of committing any sin in the Bible, I was going to repent, which includes changing one’s ways. Reading the Word in self-examination can be a sobering experience, and it yields a great freedom and liberation comparing one’s own truths to the Truth of the Word. Wherever humility is present, truth is present.
From reading the Word day and night, I had experienced many days in the apartment, in the regards of feeling a sense of timelessness. Time, seemed slowed, when reading the Word day and night. I was getting much more done than I should have been getting done in other areas of my life as well, including in just running errands and such. Truth, accountability, and humility, I was learning; and the yield of it having a great feeling of Holy peace!
What was clear, but hard to explain unless it was your own body to be able to understand it; reading the Word day and night had, at least, temporarily, healed my Atrial Fibulation 95%! Reading the Word day and night had saved my life. I had felt death in my body. I now felt life! Praise God!
I still had other heart issues. But I had gained 15 pounds of strength, could do more and more push-ups, some dips, lunges, and ran half-speed sprints in a field on two occasions. I can testify that reading the Word heals. Again, this might be difficult to realize to the fullest extent in which I knew as fact. But it was so. The Word is a healer. The Word of God and the Spirit of God are, in fact, one and the same.
I tanned outside on a number of occasions to try to look good for Country Girl in case the Lord took me back to her, and I got some new shirts.
God also led me to get some suit jackets that were free of charge. I wasn’t certain, but I felt that the Lord was giving me hints in that I was going to be preaching again. I loved to preach, and was excited that God might have me preaching again, in particular in the area where Country Girl was located. I had never met friendlier people than in that area.
Amazingly, Country Girl and I started to talk on the phone again and we had love in the Spirit! It was mostly a different type of love than just the love between a woman and man for each other ~ elevated ~ truly an exceeding love within the Spirit of God for each other.
Country Girl and I could feel each other in the Spirit of God almost perpetually for all of these years. She called one day while I was in Durham, knowing right then that I was not doing well, and told me that she felt that. This happened regularly over the years, with us feeling each other within the Spirit of God no matter how far apart that we were geographically.
Things were now happening. Things were happening in the Spirit, and we had love. I had read the entire Bible day and night with the exception of Proverbs, which is one of my favorite books. The Holy Spirit had me hold back on that for a reason. I added it up, and I had taken about fifteen days off from reading the Word day and night when I was traveling, at rest stops, to re-freshen, etc. The log said that I had read 65 books in 45 actual days of reading in self-examination.
It seemed like there were some impossible tasks to overcome to be able to go back to the region and be with Country Girl. But sure enough, one day, the Spirit of the Lord had me leave Durham, and I took off to see Country Girl. I just had to trust God to overcome those seemingly impossible obstacles.
We were all smiles when we saw each other, and God helped us to overcome some of the extra troubles that seemed impossible. She had been tanning and working out as well; and looked very beautiful. I was so happy to see Country Girl! However, Country Girl had moved back to the region in which her family member lived awhile back.
Over the comings weeks and months, we went on three dates to a really nice restaurant and went to the movies thereafter. We met for drives in the countryside, went for a day trip to a resort with a beautiful view, and did other things together. We were elated, glowing, happy, and…but
I was not certain on how to deal with certain things. I knew that if I told Country Girl that I loved her and wanted to get married, that she would tell the family member. The devil, through the family member, would then immediately try to destroy the plans out of envy. She was still listening to the family member again, in who the devil was working through.
Somehow, I had to rescue her this time. But, her free will was still enabling the family member to have a hold on her, placing that person as a false idol in a trick from the enemy.
I was beyond sad in many regards.
I didn’t know what to do.
I was still short on wisdom.
I had never encountered such a situation.
Country Girl and I took off out of state to see a Christian TV show. This was one of our favorite shows to watch, and we were excited to be in the audience.
We were having an exciting time. Country Girl and City Boy were filled with the Holy Spirit, had dinner thereafter, and drove back. Country Girl told me that she had such a wonderful adventure and that it felt that we were in a movie together, and it felt the same to me.
Some time had passed, and we met and went to church together. I felt the Holy Spirit guiding us to take many pictures of ourselves together. I wasn’t certain as to why the Holy Spirit had us doing this.
Things were happening within the Spirit and serving God as had never happened to me personally.
I wasn’t trying, and sure enough, I was not only preaching again, but I was preaching on a TV show that was being broadcast in 7 states. I was near death only months earlier, and had given up on a number of occasions, and now this. Only God can make that type of turn-around happen.
I was writing devotionals, and in quantity like never before, including for a major Christian web site, a testimony for a TV station producer, for local and national Christian uses, conducting outreach ministry services, a church asked me to be an assistant teacher, and I was writing a book called, A Place Called Heaven. I was writing whenever I could, for long hours, and wrote 100’s of devotionals that I placed into a series of books titled, Wisdom in the Spirit, with this book being volume 2. I was asked to do a series of Podcasts, and recorded 24 of them. The manifestation that I had held to for so long, of the Holy Spirit giving me the message that the ministry services would take off starting in May, had become reality. I had returned on May 30th. Much else was going on that was good, however…
Regarding Country Girl; the TV show that we saw together, and the church service in which we took the pictures thereafter, was going to be one of the last times that I saw her. I learned the hard way…It’s a fine line pertaining to knowing what a child of God is to take care of and what God is taking care of in each situation. I had also learned that I was all along committing two ongoing sins, worriment and trepidation toward evil. Worriment and trepidation, while on a path set up by God, includes the sins of doubt and a lack of trust and faith.
Spirit-led, had to be Spirit led at all times, for everyone’s good, which entailed the mindset to pray without ceasing within the Spirit for guidance and wisdom in all things.
While I was serving the Lord, part of me was also actually under a partial oppression due to having worriment and trepidation toward evil. I hadn’t realized that this was the case. I kept being hesitant to tell Country Girl that I loved her, wanted to marry her, and also, to propose and give her a ring in which I had.
I kept being too concerned that if I told Country Girl that I wanted to marry her, she would tell her family member, and things would get ruined through the family member. Unfortunately, I only realized too late, that I should have just trusted in the Lord, made a plan, and married Country Girl.
Having worriment and trepidation toward evil is the same as saying someone does not have faith that God is Almighty. God wants someone to be prudent and cautious toward evil, praying in advance of things that might produce evil…but not to have worriment and trepidation of it.
Thereafter this realization, and having accountability and repentance, I had the wisdom to deal with those things, but only thereafter the fact. I felt like a real man. I felt strong, but this was thereafter the fact, and that was too late.I learned the hard way that no Christian should have worriment and trepidation of evil.
I kept reviewing, that as a man, all that I had to do was not give evil any power, take Country Girl by the hand, and go get married somewhere out of the area.
Because of the sins of worriment and trepidation that I had in the past and then continued to have after coming back, and the sin of Country Girl still failing to adhere to the messages from God about having a false idol, sadly, we were taken on separate paths. We had both sinned for too long in this regard, mostly unknowingly.
I kicked myself.
Thereafter, I laid alone many nights and felt beyond sad on a couple of those nights, but mostly I kicked myself. I kept reviewing, and kept kicking myself. God doesn’t want us to beat on ourselves, but I could not believe all that happened to get back there, and I hadn’t trusted God, and should have just gotten married to Country Girl, even immediately. What in the world was I waiting for!?
We were clearly taken on separate paths, and about eight months later, something unexpected happened to Country Girl and City Boy.
Right before getting engaged and then before getting married, she had called me up crying on a number of occasions, and I was crying as well. We were both upset at what had happened to the country girl and city boy with such high-spirited love and outlooks in expectations in what we thought was a true storybook tale that was going to have a happily ever after ending.
Before she got engaged, part of me wanted to run to her, and I could tell that part or her wanted to run to me. She was crying, and we both knew in the Spirit, that it was too late. She kept repeating, “It’s too late, James! It’s too late!”
She could feel that reality in the Spirit, and I did as well, and we did not even have to discuss in how we knew it as fact, that it was too late for Country Girl and City Boy. ~ We cried.
Part 2 Our living God
Country Girl and I talked a few times later, and we were on good terms. But it wasn’t proper for her to be married and to be talking to an X fiancé. We had been engaged before, until that time when I left for a season.
We had both been great sinners in the years before we met. We realized that, long ago, probably decades earlier, that we had been disobedient to God on God’s Plan A for us, and probably Plan B…and probably had been through the alphabet by then on a number of times. We might have been on Plan ZZZ from God by then. We had been disobedient to God in a number of regards in the past before we met.
We talked and laughed that maybe we were on Plan ZZZ from God, but just at the absurdity of the name of it. We most certainly didn’t want to do so badly for God or for each other. I know for many reasons, we were also crying inside.
Sometimes the plan after a Plan A is not a drop off in regard to personal blessings. But, at times, someone receives just the basics to survive, and sometimes someone receives even greater blessings in other intricacies, or the bottom can truly drop out.
Romantics many times ask the question; is there more than one possible true love in who someone can meet in life? God is love. So the answer to that question is a definitive; YES!
Praise God. With God all things are possible. But this doesn’t mean to count on a Plan B, or taking it lightly in making a mistake with Plan A.
All of life is a blessing from the grace of God, of even receiving blessings just to survive with the basics. Life is a spectacular gift. And because of God’s grace, it never ends, but continues in a paradise of peace and love in the Heavens without end.
Country Girl called again at a later date and we talked for a bit about many things. It was nice to hear from her, and mostly too much to consider to allow any true emotions to surface.
Things were moving fast in the ministry field though. I had an open call to preach on TV at anytime, two Christians wanted to join together on varying brand name web sites writing and building content, I had a chance to be a guest with a testimony on radio, and a possible offer to host a radio show. I had written books for nine years, and published them, but never released the books to the public, as the Holy Spirit had told me not to release any, until the book, A Place Called Heaven.
However much it felt good to be doing well in the ministry field, I’m a man, I was forlorn at times of the turn of events, and could mostly not think about the reality of such of what had happened to the country girl and city boy.
I had started to write down some of the messages in which I was receiving recently straightway within the Holy Spirit and from varying messengers. Piecing them together was revealing much insight to some things that were about to happen.
~ Months earlier, before Country Girl got married, I got onto my knees at the altar of a church to pray. I was completely disheartened when the Holy Spirit spoke to me, not hearing with my physical ears, but to “move on, move on, move on,” from Country Girl. God had had patience for years with us, and we were both at fault, for having any allowance to the family member causing us harm. This was affecting other people’s lives as well, by us having any allowance to it.
I had also received the exact same message through another Christian; although he had no idea what the message meant as far as what to move on from.
Two messengers from a different region, had also told me to move on, and they knew in who this was regarding. They felt terrible in giving me this message.
Suzy Noel Bradley, having several amazing testimonies of our living God within the book, A place called Heaven, had also previously given me two messages in a succession of visions. The first one, she saw that God had built a thick piece of plexi-glass between Country Girl and me. This was symbolic, and easy to interpret. Then, she saw a vision from God during that same period; that God was building a white block wall between Country Girl and me. It was growing higher and higher; a spiritual separation.
Suzy told me that the Lord told her; that at one point, Country Girl would peek over the wall, meaning that she would come to visit me, out of curiosity. That hadn’t happened as of yet, even thereafter her getting married and finishing this book.
Back on March 19th, 2018, three months before Country Girl got married, I was lying in bed. Suddenly, Jesus came upon me!!!
The Spirit of the love of Jesus was immersed completely within my spirit; a love past all understanding and words!!! The love of Jesus, clearly from Heaven, was a feeling of Holy pure love past any descriptions!!! Jesus, His love, was within me, greater than any euphoria that someone could dream of or ask for; simple past all comprehension!
The love of Jesus came within my spirit, clearly otherworldly; clearly His presence not of this world. The love of Jesus was within me in a thickness of a Holy Spirit, a feeling of an infinite depth of extraordinary love through and through, quickly all at once within my spirit!
Jesus, the Son of God and Savior of the world, then suddenly gave me a message within my spirit that I could not hear with my ears, but sense within my spirit.
Jesus said, “I sacrificed myself for you. I want you to sacrifice ______(Country Girl) and this home for me.”
I was overcome with the love of Jesus! I laid there for some time, consumed with the love of Jesus, absorbing the love of Holy Jesus!
All of a sudden, I stood up very fast, and quickly said out loud, “WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” pertaining to the love of Jesus that I was feeling! The Spirit of Jesus and His Holy love was immersed utterly through and through me, the Spirit of love from Heaven, greater than all of the energy of all of the stars of the universe combined! It was apparent; the love of Jesus, and all those stars, is without comparison, and without debate, to which has more energy and power! The love of Jesus was not just greater than all things; all things were actually, literally nothingness, in reflection to the love of Jesus Christ from His Holy Heaven!
Thereafter Jesus, actually graciously asking my free will, but firmly wanting me to ~ give up Country Girl and the beautiful home in which He had been lending me to live at, I answered Jesus and said, “YES!”
As much as I loved Country Girl, I would gladly sacrifice Country Girl and the home in which Jesus had lent me! Jesus and His love were simply otherworldly, a different purpose for living, a lasting eternal purpose for living, in a permanent paradise of Heavenly love.
If Jesus was even going to consider me, let alone come upon me with such a manifestation of love, I would be glad to do so. This was months before she had gotten married, but I knew she was engaged by then. I would have never known of Country Girl without Jesus, and Jesus knew what was best. Also, Jesus is so gracious, maybe He knew that she was going to get married anyway, and wanted me to feel better, that it was my choice as well to back away from her, in which maybe, in many ways, might help Jesus and Country Girl.
I could not understand why Jesus would consider coming to someone like me. If Jesus was going to consider me, I would gladly do anything that He asked or wanted. Quite possibly, Jesus had many plans that would help Country Girl with the primary issues of the generational curse, and free her and the family member. Maybe other people’s salvation was at stake and it might help with me sacrificing Country Girl and the home. I trusted Jesus, and the love of Jesus was so great, this was actually an easy thing to say, “yes.”
I had only realized later, some of the many reasons that a sacrifice in which the Lord wants us to do benefits others including the Kingdom of God and God’s greater glory. From one person’s sacrifice, others can then have greater awareness of God and His hand in this world, and justice and judgment can be realized for others in which some people can be led to salvation through this means.
For about ten minutes, the Spirit of the love of Jesus was upon my wretched and undeserving self. I would be glad for the opportunity to do anything for Jesus, He never gave up on me when I was such a sinner and had rejected Him for decades, and He forgave me.
That was it, and Jesus didn’t do things without reason. Beautiful Country Girl, and the beautiful home in which Jesus had lent me; I was to sacrifice for the greater glory of God.
—Only about one and a half years earlier, I would not have felt like I did right then in the regard to be so thankful for this chance to make a sacrifice for Jesus. I was truly happy and elated to make a sacrifice for the Lord right then though. Over the coming weeks, I actually did upgrades to the home, realizing the maturity to make the sacrifice even that much greater. I learned the wisdom that skinny sheep aren’t much of a sacrifice, but the fatter, makes for a greater sacrifice.—
Although the Lord Jesus led me to make this sacrifice, and I agreed, I hadn’t felt or realized the full affects of actually doing it when it actually was to happen.
Still feeling the residual effects from the Spirit of Jesus thereafter the Spirit of Jesus left, I went out back at an altar and prayed, and worshiped and thanked the Lord and creator of all things. Almighty God somehow considered someone like me…allowing a sinner like me to help Him grow His eternal Kingdom of love. Amazingly, God gives this blessing to everyone, to help Him expand the glory of His Heaven, and this can be done by any grateful child of God praying to ask the Lord for guidance in how to help Him.
~ I kept praying over time, and the Lord kept teaching me wisdom in the spirit. I was growing as a person with wisdom in the spirit from the grace of God. Devotionals flew through my head faster than I could write them down, devotionals that were teaching me how to help other children of God and God’s glory. Much of this wisdom was the nature in how to love as God loves, and to help the unsaved repent and come to Jesus to have eternal life.
Country Girl had gotten married. I mostly suppressed this, and tried to keep busy. On February 21st, 2018, the Holy Spirit came upon me for ten minutes. I can only describe this manifestation as being flooded and inundated with spectacular love, but this love was different.
God is so merciful and full of grace, including by giving unexpected blessings. The Lord let me feel all of the love that Country Girl and I would have felt for each other had we been together for the rest of our lives, in only ten minutes! For ten minutes, I was in euphoria of the feeling of a love of a lifetime; condensed into just those ten minutes. When this feeling of love started subsiding, I went out back at the altar and lay on the grass lawn, still feeling a residual of this love! I was in awe! I lay there, looking up at the sky through some 100 foot tall trees. I took pictures of what this looked like right then to hold to for the memory of all of that love being felt within ten minutes. The love and thoughtfulness of God, is nothing less than exceeding!
I kept recalling the feeling of Jesus coming to me, and was in awe of this as many times as I had thought of the love of Jesus. The love of Jesus and this experience, gave me great faith and strength many times right when I needed it the most over the next months.
Back around the same time in which Country Girl got engaged, Suzy brought a woman into her home as a temporary roommate, and led her to accept Jesus as her Savior. Thereafter, the roommate immediately began to prophesy over the coming weeks. By accepting Jesus as her Savior, she had opened the door to Heaven, with the door being, Jesus.
The roommate was inundated with the gift of prophesy and incredible wisdom in a quick and amazing way. She had never read the Bible within her lifetime and never had prayed. But, she had a quick understanding of many aspects of wisdom.
While on the phone one day with both Suzie and her roommate on a speaker phone…with the Spirit upon her roommate, Suzie and I listened closely, our ears straining, knowing her roommate was receiving messages from Heaven.
~ Suzy’s roommate prophet suddenly stated that I was going to meet a woman, and she described her hair, the length of it, the color of it, the style, and the physical size of the woman. She then said that I was going to have a great love with this woman.
The prophet stated that she and I were going to be exceedingly happy! The prophet kept repeating, you are going to be very happy, in-love, exceedingly in-love with each other……..And then, the prophet paused a long pause……………She then declared in a matter of fact exclamation, but with calm, almost in a whisper, emphasizing another trait about the woman in who I was going to meet and have love with, sensing in the Spirit, she said, “Oooh……………………sheeeee’s confident! She has confidence.”
There were long pauses of silence, and I asked the prophet, “Where am I going to meet this woman?”
She answered, “It will be out and about.”
I interpreted this to mean that I would not meet the woman from a friend or a referral, but randomly, a complete stranger, in a meeting that the Holy Spirit would orchestrate.
The prophet continued, and told us, “You will meet her in four months from (a particular date.)” She then elaborated, “The woman will not realize that she loves you for the first four months and then things will go really fast thereafter.” She repeated, “Things will go really fast in the relationship.”
The prophet kept saying, “I keep seeing the number 4, pertaining to this message. I don’t know why that I keep seeing the number 4.”
Then, after another long pause, and still immersed within the Holy Spirit of God, it was almost as if she was pausing in allowing the Spirit of God to talk through her in more exactness, and she herself was surprised at the next words that came from her mouth, and stated them as a statement but also in the form of a question, telling and immediately asking me and Suzy, “You will be engaged……….again??? Were you engaged before?” I replied, “Yes,” and Suzy chimed in that, “Yes. James was engaged not too long ago.”
The prophet repeated parts of the message again, almost in the regard of repeating certain things to Suzie and me to get a grasp on these messages for herself. She said again, “This is going to happen really fast, you and her will have a great love, and you will be very happy! I can see you and her, and you are really both very happy, in-love!”
What a message. And as a romantic, and with such recent hardship, I held to this message of hope.
~ As time passed, I kept thinking about Jesus having come to me, and was never in anything less than in awe of this amazing experience of Him and His love! I couldn’t feel that exact love of Jesus at any given time, of course, without Him being there. But the memory was so strong; I could almost feel how otherworldly and thick that is the love of Jesus. The love of Jesus, beyond what any words could ever state. So beautiful, so pure, a pureness of love, Holy! Beautiful!
I held to that in trying times, including when I was having sporadic heart issues again. I also kept holding to the prophet telling me about the woman in who I was going to meet and have love with. I couldn’t help it though; I missed many things about Country Girl. She was very unique to me, endearing, and her faith and love for Jesus was touching.
Later, I talked to a prophet who I knew of casually from the church in which I was attending. She told me that God had told her to pray for me for one month. I asked her how long that she was into the month of prayer. She said that she had a week and a half to go, but would still pray for me thereafter.
I added up the two and a half weeks prior to that day, as to when she had started to pray for me. I had been getting a heart procedure to have a stent put into my heart on that exact day. I was thankful to the Lord and the woman for being such a prayer warrior to help me.
One day, I asked her why she did not tell me earlier that the Holy Spirit told her to pray for me. She said that this is not the sort of thing that someone can tell everyone. She stated that she used to drive past the home in which the Lord had lent me, to pray on some of these days.
She later told me one more message, and stressed that it was a critical message. At a particular moment, I have to pray three times with 100% faith for results. She elaborated that if I pray right at that time and only have 99% faith, that I will not get the results needed. That it had to be 3 prayers, having 100% faith. She kept stressing, that something was going to happen, and I was going to need this specific prayer. It seemed like I was going to be in a real jam coming up.
I kept thinking about Jesus and His love, which is past any understanding. Jesus has such joy, peace, and a purity of Holy Love!!! The love of Jesus is truly not describable. I also would think about the prophet telling me that I was going to meet a woman and fall in-love. I had a love for Country Girl that was more of the spirit than that between a woman and a man, and this love was facilitated by the Holy Spirit of God, and greater than any love that could be of the flesh.
Next thing; much was happening fast, but…things of this world come and go. However, the reality that someone exists and has life, which can be used to secure eternal life for the purpose of eternal love, is past all understanding in the magnitude of its blessings. Scripture guides to live for purpose: and true purpose is only in eternal things. The Word reveals that the most precious and sacred gift that there is, is life. From cover to cover of the Bible, God guides to receive Jesus, and lead others to Jesus, for the most important aspect of this lifetime, to extend it to having eternal life. No greater action can someone do within a lifetime, than to witness of Jesus Christ and lead the unsaved unto the everlasting light and love of Jesus Christ!
“Father, in the name of Jesus, I surrender my day and my life to you. I repent my sins. Please forgive me. I confess that Jesus is the Son of God and my Savior, rising from the dead. I surrender all aspects of myself and my life to you. Lord, guide me to do your will, to go wherever you want me to go, and to do whatever you want me to do for the glory of your eternal Kingdom. I humbly ask you to give me blessings beyond my imagination so that I can use them to give back to you and your children. Amen.”
James Rathman: Evangelist: JamesJohnJr7000@gmail.com
